Thriving, Not Just Surviving, College: Insights from a Therapist, Professor, and Mom
August marks a season of big transitions. This year, it’s more personal than ever for me. Two of my sons are heading off to college for the first time. As a mom, I’m filled with pride, hope, and, if I’m honest, a sense of loss. Letting go of the everyday rhythms of parenting is no small thing. It’s a shift in identity for parents just as much as it is for students.
Professionally, I’ve walked alongside countless young adults as they navigate the messy, meaningful work of growing up. In my role as a therapist, I help college students manage anxiety, overwhelm, identity shifts, relationship challenges, and the pressure to succeed. I’ve also had the privilege of teaching at several universities, something I deeply love. The classroom has always been a space where I’ve seen students stretch themselves in ways that go far beyond academics.
Over the years, I’ve taught students from all walks of life: first-generation college students, students managing mental health diagnoses, those recovering from addiction, and many simply trying to figure out who they are in the middle of so many competing expectations. I’ve seen students thrive, but I’ve also seen them quietly struggle. What I’ve learned is this: the transition to college is about so much more than moving into a dorm or picking a major. It’s a profound developmental shift, and how we support that transition matters.
Whether you're preparing to leave for your first semester or you're a parent watching from afar, here are a few insights I’ve gained from both my professional and personal lenses.
1. Academic Success Is Only One Part of the Picture
From my front-row seat as a professor, I’ve seen how much pressure students put on themselves to get things “right.” The perfect GPA, the right internship, the most efficient path to graduation. But I’ve also seen how those same students often neglect their emotional needs. I’ve had students show up in my office after class completely overwhelmed, doubting their worth because they didn’t meet a particular standard. Thriving in college is about so much more than grades. It’s about developing the emotional resilience to weather disappointments and the flexibility to grow from them.
2. Students Need Spaces to Be Real
One thing I’ve consistently prioritized, both in therapy and in the classroom, is creating spaces where students can be real. Not polished, not perfect—just honest. College students are often told this is “the best time of your life,” but that kind of messaging can make it hard to admit when things feel hard. I’ve had students confide in me about depression, family issues, and substance use, all things they felt they had to hide. The more we normalize these conversations, the better chance students have of getting the support they need.
3. Identity Development Deserves Support
College is often the first time young adults are fully on their own: physically, emotionally, and intellectually. They’re asking big questions. Who am I without my family structure? What do I believe? What do I want? Those aren’t easy questions to answer. As a therapist, I help students untangle those questions and explore their values. As a professor, I’ve watched students light up when they discover something that truly resonates with who they’re becoming. These moments don’t always happen in a textbook. They happen in connection.
4. Mental Health Must Be a Priority, Not an Afterthought
Mental health is often what breaks down first when the demands of college life pile up. I’ve seen students ignore early warning signs—trouble sleeping, isolation, binge drinking—because they didn’t know what to do or didn’t want to feel like they were falling behind. Therapy is not a last resort. It’s a proactive tool for self-awareness and growth. Encouraging students to access support early can prevent more serious struggles later.
5. Parents Are Transitioning, Too
As I send my own sons off to college, I’m learning how to hold space for my own experience too. Parenting through this transition is emotional. There’s pride, worry, grief, and gratitude all at once. It’s okay to feel the weight of that shift. The goal isn’t to detach overnight but to redefine connection in new ways. A quick check-in text, a shared laugh over FaceTime, or a care package that says, “I see you”—these gestures matter.
Whether you’re a student stepping into independence or a parent learning to release and trust, know that you’re not alone. College is a time of profound transformation. With the right support, that transformation doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. It can feel empowering.
If you or someone you care about is navigating this transition, I’d be honored to help. My practice supports teens, young adults, and families with therapy rooted in compassion, insight, and real-life experience both inside and outside the classroom.
Let’s talk about how to make this next chapter one of growth, connection, and true thriving.